Heartbreak Hotel

Dewi is very good at showing me things I don't want to see, and telling me things I don't want to hear. She did it again yesterday and it hurt.

It's been a while

It's been too long. I haven't forgotten about this. Dealing with losing many friends this year due to the military and moving around. I still communicate with them but I know I'm losing one more next month and I hope no more. I can't handle anymore. Ever since my "brother" moved not even a month ago I have dreams about him at least twice a week. It makes me miss him. I also have dreams about my other friend who has been gone for, wow, almost 3 months. We have stayed up late at night sometimes (even later for him on the east coast) and talked, he confessed to some things he had been feeling and reasons for why he did what he did and it shocked me, and unfortunately made me miss him more because it turned out he cared a lot more than I thought. Ughh.

So trying to save money, trying to get tan this summer. Yeah......

Exciting Easter!!

I had a fantastic Easter this year. It was very exciting. I got up at 5am to go to church with my friend (a date I guess you could say) at 8am. After we went to a park with some art and museums and stuff, which they have a new exhibit with dinosaurs so we went into one museum and took a look around. We got lost on the way to lunch because he couldn't find his way out of a ghetto neighborhood (while driving my car) but eventually got there. We ate, yum, and then went down to a monument by his base (sort of) which is on the beach, well, the cliffs that meet the ocean anyway.

We spent at least 2 hours or more wandering around and taking a ton of pictures on the cliffs, he has a really nice camera. When we got back to my car I had a bunch of texts and voicemails from my mom saying there was a 6.8 earthquake in Mexicali, in Baja California. We could just about literally see Mexico from the cliffs we were on, so we were closer than any of our family, but they felt it all the way up in LA and it was strong. Weird how we didn't feel it.

We drove around a bit, I got carsick a little so we stopped to get me some crackers and to walk around. Then we went to see a movie and he counted I think 5 aftershocks we finally felt from the big earthquake. The aftershocks themselves could be categorized as mini-earthquakes. One rocked the theater good enough for me to grab his arm and cuddle up close to him to feel protected haha. Ended the night with breakfast and a pancake house.

66% Missing

66% of my friends have left me. It's sad. I've been extremely close to all of them. I only have 1 left. And he moves the first day of June. I feel like little pieces of me are getting ripped apart and scattered across the country. I now have the ability (and will probably have the ability for a long time) to burst into tears at any moment. It'll be even worse when my last friend leaves, I've know him the longest. At least I know he might come back. I know he will always stay in contact with me. And unfortunately. I'm not sure what to feel or how to feel. I just don't like how I feel right now. I met someone who makes me feel better when I'm with him. But not when I'm away from him. I'm sort of numb. It's going to take a while to get back into things I guess. I don't know what the point of this post is. Sorry.

Stupid Spring

The weather here is going crazy. Hot, cold, hot, cold. It's spring now too and I thought my allergies were acting up (but I never have allergies!!) and now its a full-blown cold. Ughh, I am the worst sick person ever. I suck at being sick. It's the biggest annoyance in the world.

Our lab today included a 90 minute incubation period where we had absolutely nothing to do so the professor let us all go get lunch. I ran into a a few friends, my lab partner and I went down to the cafeteria together. My firing range friend was there, it was so good to see him. Technically he saw me first and my eyes just lit up and I smiled and hugged him. It had been a long time. The three of us (me, the firing range friend, and my lab partner) ate together, and then we went back to lab and finished.

I have work today, not fun when you're sick. I'm gonna use up the second half of that roll of toilet paper I started on Friday. I need to do something that involves keeping my head up though, when I look down my nose starts to run =/

Sunday should be an adventure. I'm going to the place where my high school was named after. I've lived here for 17 years and I have yet to see it.

Not Much to Say

I figured I might as well post. It's been a while. Stressful week but not as bad as the other week. Planning on seeing Shutter Island on Thursday evening, I've heard mixed reviews, I guess I'll find out. It was extremely windy today, it was fun, though I didn't really get to be out in it very much. I honestly do not have a lot to say right now. I'm kind of feeling indifferent about a lot of things. I'll just say goodnight. Goodnight

3 Important People for Life

So after what I account to be one of the worst (if not the worst) weeks of my life. Computer broke and had to get a new one. Too much homework to keep up with. Late shift at work. Little sleep. And my Jacob telling me he has to "let me go" because he thinks I'm seeing my ex again because I had called him (my ex) and he won't listen when I say it's only because I need to get my things back that he had. Oh and not to mention a dentist appointment where they said I need a filling, what a surprise. Honestly I don't know how many teeth I have left to even fill....

Then last night things started to change a little. My dad bought me a new laptop which I have a year and a half to pay him interest free. We went to my favorite restaurant for dinner. This morning I woke up dark and early (the sun wasn't up yet so it couldn't have been bright and early) to play some pickup hockey and I played against my NEW (yet I think he has always been) favorite Marine =]

Most of the time we spent harassing each other, hitting and light checking. We were all having some fun. I didn't like it though when my ex was there on my team and I was on the ice with him and my brother (who is my favorite Marine, Bloggingbrit would understand) and I look over at my ex just in time to see him chest-to-chest pushing and shoving my brother. I stopped on the ice and just watched at my brother, who is bigger than my ex, stand there and just fend off my ex while my ex still tried to sort of tackle him. He said that my brother elbowed him but it clearly did not look like that to me.

After pickup my brother caught me and checked me (he was still in full gear, I was already dressed out) into the outside of the boards and glass and held me there. My entire body (including my face) was smooshed against the glass while he held me there. It's become a routine now every time he sees me he has to playfully check me into the glass and hold me there.

A little while later at the rink, the 16AAA travel hockey teams were there playing and one game was with the Jr. Kings. I was standing around watching all the parents and coaches when one guy stuck out from all the rest. It was Kopitar's dad!! I had forgotten that he coaches the Jr. Kings and I saw him right there, in my rink!! I was in shock and I still am.

I've decided that out of everyone I know, there are only 3 people that I really care about, that I always love getting attention from. They are supportive and want me to do well, and have always been there for me. These are the guys I really believe I can love and not worry about my heart being broken. No matter how often I see them, whether it be weekly, annually, or even never, They are people I really look up to. They are what I really want from a guy eventually. They are really great guys, and for whatever girl they have or will end up with, they have/are getting one of the best guys in the world.

One of these guys is my cousin, he is cool and I can easily say he is my favorite family member. But I rarely get to see him. Once a year if I'm lucky.

The other is who I consider my brother. He is always doing really nice things for his wife, he is so caring and loving. He doesn't gamble, and he doesn't drink. I get to see him every week for the past year and a half until sometime this summer when he is being re-stationed. I'll miss him so much. He is encouraging and playful with me, and no one else could ever be like him, or his family =] He gives me all the physical attention I need each week in a brotherly type of way. Yes I have a crush on him, and I'm pretty sure he knows that, which might partially be why he is a little attached to me as well. He knows I have a little crush and he probably things it's cute.

The third one I'm afraid I'll never get to meet. No matter how mad I can make him sometimes (by accident, I don't mean to upset him), he never threatens to leave me (except once!! grrr) and I fell like I can tell him anything and everything (which is sometimes why I make him mad). He shares this blog with me =]

Final note, it's getting very very dark and cloudy here, the wind is whipping, and the storm is coming. I like it when it rains. My week is turning around finally and the only people that have enough influence over me to make me happy even if its for a little section of time are the people I've mentioned above. I love these guys. And I'm glad to know them. I'm very proud to have them. I don't think I'd be where I am today without them

20

I never thought it'd be this hard when my Jacob moved. It seems like as time goes by I miss him more and it's not going away. I talk to him daily, at least a Hello or something. I find myself thinking about him a lot. I find no interest in any other guys, my mom thinks I should find a nice guy that's not a Marine (I'd like that too, eventually) but I'm really completely uninterested right now. He still has the necklace I made him...

The story was, I made him a necklace (like one of the hemp twisty knotted sort of one) and I was going to give it to him. But then we went to the mall and I got upset because he said he was going to be leaving in February (at the time that's when he thought he was getting out) and I was upset because I didn't want another person to leave me.... It was awkward for a little while as we walked around, we got in his truck on a rainy day like today and he said he was gonna take a nap and we were arguing over what we were going to do next. I wasn't going to give him the necklace... he was being grumpy and indecisive and frustrating. But after a while I took his hand and put the necklace in his hand (he was pretending to sleep) and closed his hand around it. He took his hand back and secretly looked at the necklace and then looked at me. He said he liked it and he was trying to hide that he liked it. He had trouble faking the grumpiness after that. He genuinely liked it. And he says he still has it hanging up in his room =]

I want something of his, or something made by him, to take with me everywhere I go. I realize I may have more feelings for him than I thought. I try to suppress my feelings, the affectionate feelings that make me feel attached to people. But Being away from him, the words he has said to me, I think it's true what I now believe i feel for him. GMW

Bloggingbrit will not be happy.

P.s. I feel great that I no longer have that "teen" word attached to the end of my name, but I'm sad that the waiter and the (embarrassing) Italian opera singer that sings for birthdays thought I was 15 or 16... Why do I look so much younger than my age?! It's unbelievably frustrating.

Two Songs

Two songs I haven't been able to get out of my head. The first has an amazing video someone made to go with the song. The second was the song played at the end of Twilight when Bella and Edward are dancing together at prom =]

Let Me Sign - Rob Pattinson



Flightless Bird/American Mouth - Iron & Wine

Employment

It's been well over a month since my last post (if we ignore the 'test' post of my cat, now deleted (the post, not the cat)), and a lot has happened. The main thing being I got a job!

I'm now working in another call centre. This time I'm actually on the telephones. It's odd that I've managed to avoid telephones during the last 5 years of me working in call centres, but prior to that I have had 6 years of telephone based call centre work, so I have plenty of experience.

There was a two week training session which I've just completed, and that is followed by a week of watching someone else work, then after that I do 'proper' work. Sometime in the near future I hope to progress and do some techie stuff on the phones, and after that, who knows, maybe more non-phone work!

Hope you got all that.

Finally Heard His Voice Again

I tried on some standard military issued glasses today, prescription ones both clear and tinted (two separate pairs) and my friend who had them kept wearing them and he looked so funny haha. I took some pictures.

Also, my Jacob called me today because I was texting him and he said he was going to a cabin and would lose cell reception up there, so he called and left me a short little voicemail saying hi and he missed me and he would be back on Sunday so he could talk to me then =]

I saved the message. It's been a while since I heard his voice. I miss him so much. Part of me feels like he never left, because we still text like we used to, except there are a lot of "I miss you" messages exchanged and him saying he misses our team (he still refers to it as "our" team even though he doesn't play on it anymore since he moved). So the texting is basically the same, but it's hard not being able to see him and throw my arms around him and climb on his back, or to have him point to his cheek and lean his face towards me, requesting kisses. Or him singing to me in the car. Or what he did which I found really adorable is whenever we would lay together (just cuddling) he would always lift the bottom of our shirts a little so our skin was touching. Like we watched a movie once and I was laying on top of his back while he lied on the couch on his stomach, and he lifted up the back of his shirt and the front of mine a little so my bare skin was against his. It was comforting I think to feel that a little bit, and I miss it now.

Why am I saying all this? I don't know. I don't hate thinking about him, I love thinking about him, he makes me happy. And I don't mind being sad, because it's a different kind of sad than I've felt with boyfriends dumping me. Jacob left with us on a good note. He told me last night he wants to come fly back out already, but he can't afford it yet. Possibly spring break or summer though. Funny thing is, when people used to asked me where I wanted to transfer to after 2 years at this college I'm at now, I said "somewhere cold, with hockey, like Minnesota" and now I have a reason to go there. I wish I could at least see him once a month, or just for my birthday!! I'd be so happy. Heyyy!! Maybe we can plan on seeing Eclipse (3rd book from the Twilight Saga) when it comes out in June =] Make it a little tradition now to see all the Twilight movies together. He is my Jacob after all. Except if I were Bella, I'd probably pick Jacob, not Edward.

My Jacob really was pretty cool. He had adorable quirks, and now he's gone I find I have inherited some of his quirkiness into me, probably because it reminds me of him and makes me happy. Just little expressions he always used, the way he says certain things. I am exhibiting some of his personality traits now, but just the little things. I keep a picture of him in my car on my dashboard (don't worry, it's not obstructing any important gauges, just the gas gauge, but I have a setting on my ODO/TRIP thingy that says how many miles of gas I have left. Actually easier to keep track of than the gas gauge itself!!) so I can have something pleasant to look at when I'm driving and stuck in traffic.

ALRIGHT!! I'LL SHUT UP!! I'm sure Bloggingbrit is angry by now if he has even gotten this far. He doesn't like it when I ramble on like that.. Sorry!!

Oh final note... Jack Johnson was interviewed in the Olympic Opening Ceremonies!! He is the Men's Team U.S.A. Olympic Hockey Team representative!! I love you JMFJ!! Haha.

Not to mention I had an oddly comforting dream about Ryan Miller (hopefully our starting goalie for Team USA's hockey team) and Rob Pattinson (not together in the same dream, but right after one another). I can't remember all the details now, but I know I woke up feeling warm and happy inside. It was comforting.

Neat Video, Inside a Cell

I had my two early classes this morning and my Biology professor showed the class this video. It's pretty cool and I like the music in it. Like he said, if after you watch this you still DON'T want to be a cell biologist, there's something wrong with you haha. Check it out, it's pretty awesome (though I am a science nerd so my opinion is of course biased =])

Dunno

Alright it's been a while since I posted. Over a week. I've been sad dealing with not having my Jacob around.

I got to talk to Bloggingbrit today... well he mumbled and I apparently shouted (though I wasn't really shouting) and I forgot how much he sounds like a speedway guy I know. I was giggling. Oh yeah I have to remember to call him at 10:30 to make sure he is up... that is if I'm still up haha. I should be.

Anyway, that's my small little post. I don't know how long the cat picture would have been up there if I didn't post =P

Bella Wants More Recoil

My goodbye with my Jacob was sweet. I saw his eyes get watery. I managed to hold back sobs but tears were streaming the whole time. I don't feel like going into detail about the words we exchanged but it was sweet. He kept apologizing, he didn't really want to go, but he had commitments back home to take care of. He made sure I knew what he thought of me, the nicest person he's ever met. He took on the protecting Marine role for the first time, first time ever for me to get that from someone. Making sure I'd never let anyone take advantage of me because I was truly a nice person. He swept me off my feet with ease, like I didn't weight more than a small child, and said "I'm taking you with me" as he proceeded to stick me in his truck. Only joking though and he set me down and hugged me tightly, though still considering what it'd be like if he really could take me with him. He said one other thing that shocked me... he told me I was perfect. He also mentioned that he could get cheap plane tickets.. giving me slight hope that he would consider coming back out to see me sometime. That made me feel good too =]

Since then, I've been trying to keep myself busy in order to prevent myself from thinking about him leaving and being on his way home. I was with my friend from class and he took me for a drive along the San Diego coast and I could see the stormy ocean the whole time out my window. And with the cliffs here and there it made me want to jump off one like Bella cliff diving in the ocean in La Push to get the adrenaline rush to see her Edward. Only if I did that, my Jacob wouldn't be there to save me. The rain was exciting though. I took a lot of pictures. I had a good time just driving and looking at the stormy ocean and the huge waves crashing and standing in the rain watching it slam into the jetty by the seal beach.

Today after class I followed my same friend to his house and played some video games and hung out... met his dad... saw his hockey room... and his sister's wonderful choice in posters on her ceiling above her bed (all Twilight... Jacob, Bella, and Edward). Then I got a call from my other friend, who I had just talked to about wanting to go shoot some guns, and he needed someone with him at the shooting range, so my friend I was with and I drove down to the firing range and I shot my first real gun ever in my life. I was scared shitless because the Mauser 8mm was soooooo loud. I was literally picked up and carried to the gun and forced to shoot because I was chickening out. But I did shoot a few rounds, it was surprisingly much easier to SHOOT than to WATCH... I took pictures. My friend also had never shot a gun before so we were nervous together. But the friend who wanted us to come down in the first place has fired guns before so he was teaching us. He had to stand behind me and hold me the first time I was up to shoot because I was freaking out. He decided to shoot a .500 (a 50 caliber round) rifle... the CBC S & W .500 Mag-R and the recoil on that was INSANE... he was hurting after like 5 shots, he only bought a packet of 5 bullets.

This is the gun we all shot. The Mauser. It was fun to use the bolt action and the recoil felt good when I fired it. It was heavy so I had to lean against the counter thing when I shot but on the target sheet I beat the boys and got 2 of 3 shots in the middle target, while the boys got theirs waaay high at the top of the sheet. This was my bullet I shot... the BIGGER ones haha. The recoil on it felt good... The boys thought I was afraid of the recoil but I was more afraid of the sound. It was a completely new experience to me but to be honest, the kick felt awesome. I'd never really felt anything like it before and I have a feeling me and my friend might be spending more time at the range than I had ever dreamed I would. If you have never fired a gun, go out and try even a small rifle just once. It feels great.

This is the gun my friend used afterward and it kicked back so hard he could barely handle 5 shots. The CBC S&W Rifle. The second from the right is what this gun shot.. I think.. its a 50 caliber shot like this.

Below is a clip of a guy shooting what I shot


This is what my friend shot that almost tore his shoulder off haha.



It was all fun though. And there was a guy right next to us shooting a .308 Sniper Rifle and wholly shit that was loud. Everyone on the range was jumpy whenever he fired that thing and the entire room lite up with a bright white light as it shot. It was scary.... this is what he was using... except we were in an indoor range and it was RIGHT NEXT TO US.... soooo loud. Too loud even with ear protection like this guy is wearing. I was hiding behind my bigger friend who was sitting on a stool watching (he is 6'4" and like 220lbs... hockey player)



It was scary at first... but my friend was very helpful I guess you could say (the one that knew what he was doing) and I'd do it again but not with that sniper next to me. I'm starting to seek adrenaline stuff... things outrageous to do that I normally wouldn't do in order to keep myself sidetracked. Sort of like Bella in a way but I'm not looking to see anyone, just to do exciting things to not think about the sad things.

Jacobs Leaves

Tonight was possibly the last time I was able to hang out and see my Jacob Black. He is moving on Thursday back to his real home. He said he would come back and visit. He has lots of friends here. He promised he wouldn't forget me. I'm already struggling with the thought that my other wing will be gone. My own personal space heater, gone. The one that sings to me in the car, gone. The one that asks for little kisses on the cheek, gone. My secret friend in the team locker room, gone. The guy who wants me to go with him to get slurpees at 11pm, gone. My first kiss of the new year, gone. The one that got me into Twilight in the first place, gone.

The storm came in tonight. Supposed to rain for a week straight. I hope it does.

Pants on the Ground

American Idol started yesterday here... I just wanted to mention this one guy, it's stuck in my head the song he sang... Pants on the Ground...

No Shit, Sherlock. Haha

Saturday night I went to go see Sherlock Holmes with my Jacob. We had to go to the next town over to see it at the time we needed, and we ended up running into a familiar Alumni that's on our team so we had to try and hide ourselves so that he wouldn't see us and recognize us, then the whole team would know that we are kinda of closer friends than they think. Anyway, it was a great movie, I would definitely recommend it. I love Holmes, he's so... I don't know, sort of like, tough to explain haha. But he's great.

After that I had to go out and I bought the entire Sherlock Holmes collection in two volumes. It's in the Classics section at Barnes & Noble and they are having a special right now, buy 2 get the 3rd one free, so I bought Volume I and II, and threw in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for free because I've never read it. Not even sure what it's about. But the Sherlock Holmes has all the short stories and adventures as well as the 4 novels. All combined (with tiny print) in 2 volumes. I really like the covers of the books too.

Tonight I was texting my friend from school, the one that retaught me everything and got me to pass Chemistry, and he's been wanting to hang out for a week or two now so he decided to come down and we went min golfing, since I still had some free passes. We each won a course (there were two courses), played a bunch of video games, including this real cool shooting game. The gun were fully automatic and had kickback and everything. It felt good. I didn't want to stop playing but we were out of tokens. It was fun though. Spent about 2 hours there.

Could he be?....

So an interesting thing happened to me at work today. I had just pulled into the parking lot at work because I went to pick up our pizzas for lunch and I got out of my car and there was a guy riding his bike, wearing a hoodie, a beanie, and his backpack (coming from the gym a few buildings down). He rode past me and we smiled at each other, just being friendly, then he took a second look at me over his shoulder and turned around on his bike and started riding back to me. He smiled and shouted to me, asking me what my name was. I thought oh boy, some crazy guy wanting to hook up as he peddled back to me, but I also thought maybe he was going to ask about my work since we have been closed for inventory. Either way I told him my name, and I think I was giving him a skeptical look too. The next thing he said as he approached was something like "I couldn't resist your blue eyes, I have to at least come introduce myself." I wasn't thinking it at the moment, but I realize now I'm sure my face turned bright read in the noon sun.

He stopped in front of me and shook my hand, telling me his name and repeating mine. The next thing he noticed was my necklace, the New Moon one with Jacob's Quileute symbols. He asked what it was, and I just said it was a Twilight thing, if he'd ever seen the movies or read the books. He told me he was just on his way back to the gym because he left his own necklace there, he said it was hooks, but he said I'd have to see it to understand. He went on to say that he has been training because he wants to do some UFC stuff. He had originally planned on becoming a doctor but changed his mind because it would take too long and UFC paid more anyway.

On the inside I was wondering how many of my co-workers could see this, and secretly imagining them all lined up at the window, spying out at me haha. He kept repeating my name afterwards aloud to himself as if he was making sure he would remember it. I had to ask what his was again because it was a very unique name and I had never heard it before. I quickly examined this guy, taking in he was probably about 25, but looked a little older because of his scruffy beard and I thought he resembled Gerard Butler.

I told him I worked at this store we were in front of but that we were closed right now for inventory. He said he'd stop by sometime and look for me =]

His name was so unique though I had never heard it before, so when I got home I looked it up (spelling it the way it sounded, not sure of the exact spelling, either way there are a few variations that all mean the same thing). It turns out that his name is a form of Edmund, and his name means "the wealthy protector" and the name suggestions for brothers of [his name] included Emmett.

Now... here is where I explain the significance... As I have stated numerous times before, I feel like I'm living Bella's life in a little bit of an alternate universe. No real vampires, no real werewolves, etc. But, this is the even funnier part. The first time a guy has ever come up to me under his own will, out in public, that I've never seen before, and introduces himself to me, and his name is a form of Edmund, which is very similar to Edward like Bella's. The fact that his name means "wealthy protector" is ironic too because Bella's Edward is her protector and he is very wealthy. Emmett being a suggestion for a brother of [his name] also has its irony because Edward Cullen has a brother named Emmett. Tell me it's crazy that everything in my life now is becoming more and more like Twilight, it's insane!!

I hope he does come back into my work, we open tomorrow, so I can get a chance to talk to him a little bit more and find out how old he is. I'm going to take a guess he will disappear for about a week and then return. Like Edward did at the beginning of Twilight.

His Connection.

Bloggingbrit must have fallen asleep signed onto his mobile IMing service because it is constantly showing him logging on and off and it got so annoying I had to log out myself so I didn't have to see the constant messages alerting me he was online and offline. I hope it doesn't cost him money having it doing that all night. It's been the most annoying thing to me since... I can't remember.

That is all.

Gaps

There are lots of gaps between Dewi and I. The obvious one is the
physical space between us, filled with lots and lots of water. There
is also an age gap, which is quite significant. There is an experience
gap too. We can both list personal activities which the other won't
have experienced, but one of us has done far fewer than the other.
Today I discovered cultural differences which I hadn't picked up on
before. I guess it's to be expected in long distance friendships, but
some differences are harder to accept than others, so they cause
conflict. I'm the 'old fasioned' one, and Dewi is more modern. I want
to say I'm open minded but the old saying is true... you can't teach
an old dog new tricks.

Hit on the freakin head.

I'm glad to see that Bloggingbrit has been posting so much. And because of my crazy work schedule it always makes me smile when I read one of his posts.

I'm very jealous of the weather there... Snow and ice. The ice is what attracts me haha.

I KNOW WHAT A MINI IS!! I rode in on hehe. My friend drives one and she and I went to In-N-Out (a burger restaurant that is mainly only California with a few places in Arizona and Nevada I believe) after a study session with that one kid who I thought reminded me of Bloggingbrit. Wow what a mistake that was haha. But we shoved that poor guy in the backseat and us girls took the front.

I got hit on the head today at work. I was just beginning my shift when an object weighing about 10lbs fell from the top shelf and hit me between my forehead and the top of my head. I was lucky the corner didn't his my head first or I would have needed staples I'm sure. I got a lump on my head now though and it still hurts. I swear that place is going to kill me. I'm glad I have tomorrow and Friday off. Tomorrow I might go see a cheap discount movie with my Jacob if anything catches his interest. It's a theater that plays older movies... ones in between the gap of the Big Screen and DVD...

Last night was funny because I was up so late trying to talk to Bloggingbrit with a mobile version of an IM thingy, but I was so tired I kept falling asleep while I was typing and all I wanted to do was send my message but I couldn't keep myself awake long enough to type one out haha. I wanna do it again. I sleep better when I'm completely zombie-like. Though I had 3 nightmares after I fell asleep... hmm. But hey, since I got hit on the head maybe I'll have some crazy dreams and hopefully not nightmares. I'm tired of those.

Snow

We had a couple of inches of snow today. That might not sound like
very much to some people, but to the north-west of England it is more
than enough to send the whole area into chaos. 1,500 schools in the
area were closed, shops and offices either closed early or never
opened at all, and the transport system ground to a halt. It only
takes a few minor incidents on the icy roads to create total gridlock,
with 20 minute journeys taking 4 hours!
The unfortunate people who rely on public transport and did succeeded
in getting to work this morning, found they had to walk home as busses
and trains were suspended.
It will be worse tomorrow as the snow will turn to ice with the
freezing temperatures expected tonight.
There aren't many times when I count myself lucky for being
unemployed, but this has to be one of them!

Resolutions Update

Today was the first day of my New Years Resolutions, and I think it went okay. I didn't get out of bed particularly early, but it was just too warm in bed, and too cold outside!

I did apply for a job, and updated my details with a couple of job websites, so it was productive.

Now I know Dewi has read my blog and is checking up on me, I really am determined to make the effort, and I do think having support like that genuinely helps.

I watched the highlights show of Celebrity Big Brother, but as it's highlights from the previous day, and all they did the previous day was enter the house at night, there wasn't very much in the way of highlights. They did have to all squeeze into a Mini (a small iconic british car) as an icebreaker task, and they were successful, which is quite an acheivement considering there are 11 of them. I'm sure you can find YouTube clips if you care to search for them. I'll be sure to keep Dewi informed of any interestig antics of a certain Sweedish dj/producer!

Watch this space!

I Love To Laugh

I put on Mary Poppins before bed but I got a raging headache earlier and it's not going away, so I stayed up to watch my favorite scene and after I write this I'm going to bed. I just wanted to share my favorite scene of the movie, and might I had some very good jokes that I love to use whenever I can haha.

I know them!!

Wow, I actually know a few of those people,those "Celebrities" that Bloggingbrit mentioned. Mainly the Flinestones guy (I want to buy that on DVD, haven't seen it in forever!!) and Jonas Altberg, omg such a freakin hottie. I'm sure Bloggingbrit know him... Dota and Boten Anna... I think I made him watch the Boten Anna music video last spring!! Neato.

Celebrity Big Brother 7

Tonight was the launch of the latest (and last ever) Celebrity Big Brother on Channel 4. I always make a point of watching the launch just to see who is in it, and if I have actually heard of any of them!

This year, the 'housemates' are...

Stephen Baldwin, actor (Barney Rubble in The Flinstones, has famous brothers)
Nichola Tappenden, topless model (who?)
Alex Reid, cage fighter (known for his high profile girlfriend, Katie Price)
Stephanie Beecham, actress (a well known actress, mainly for Dynasty)
Lady Sovereign, grime singer (who?)
Sisqo, R&B singer (used to be in Dru Hill, and had a solo hit with The Thong Song ???)
Dane Bowers, singer songwriter (known for his high profile ex-girlfriend, Katie Price)
Heidi Fleiss, businesswoman (ran a Hollywood prostitution ring, jailed for 3 years)
Jonas Altberg, producer and DJ (known as Basshunter, has had dance hits all over the world)
Ekaterina Ivanova, model & artist (who?)
Vinnie Jones, ex-footballer & actor (Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, X-Men 3)

An interesting mix this year. I would only class two of them as Celebrities in the true sense, and they would be Stephanie Beecham and Vinnie Jones. However, I know a few others from watching the odd bit of entertainment news on tv, or in the newspapers. But if you were to ask someone younger than myself, then they would give you a different opinion about which of those people were famous. We have four weeks of this on our tv screens, hundreds of hours of live streamed tv, mainly overnight when they're asleep (yes, hours and hours of watching people sleep), and the 'highlights' show to look forward to every evening.

I won't be watching the live streaming. Not just because it's often very dull, but I don't receive digital tv in my room, so it's not actually possible. I will probably watch the highlight shows, and i'm tipping Vinnie Jones to win. You heard it here first!

RESET

Well well well... Bloggingbrit has given me a new job now I see. Well, I'll try to keep riding his ass to make sure he does what he wants to do. I remember last year his New Years Resolution was to blog more (on his personal blog) but I think he only ever did like 2 posts, and one was about watching a video of the fireworks, but without sound? I don't know, I was just thinking about it the other day.

I'm using 2010 as my reset. The boyfriend dumped me but he says he still loves me and cares about me and misses me and all that junk... I had it in my mind though that I was going to go out and find my own Edward/Jacob, remember my rants about that? Well at least now I'm free to do that. The new semester starts in under a month, I have newly waxed eyebrows haha, and I dyed my hair a dark brown color, like Bella I guess. It's not permanent though, will wash out in 28 shampoos. If I like it though I might consider doing it permanent for a while, but that decision is still a ways out.

The first day of the year I spent with my Jacob, surprisingly. I had never imagined it would be him that I'd get my first kiss of the year from. He came over a little after noon local time, and stayed till 9:30 at night. We watched a ton of movies... The Hangover (part of the reason he was over snoozing on my bed the whole day haha), Cheaper By The Dozen 2, Twilight (he made me watch it because he wanted to see Jacob, and then tell me that it was him on TV), and then he slept through Kangaroo Jack. We had a good time though, I really enjoyed hanging out with him. Like Bella has said, Jacob was her safe harbor, well my Jacob made me feel good too. I think we will start making more time to hang out soon. We like being around each other.

My other friend will be coming back to California on Monday, and I need to make sure I hang out with him too because we haven't gotten to hang out since before October and I miss him.

Overall though I'm using the new year to change. I needed to make some physical appearance changes so people might not recognize me and I can start out a little newer in a way I guess. It's Bloggingbrit's job to keep me in line though

Resolutions

It's customary to make New Year's resolutions in the UK, and I'm sure it's the same in the US. I've decided I'm going to try to work harder.

Ok, so I'm currently not working at all as I'm unemployed, but I don't just mean employed work, I'm talking about work in general. I never seem to get the balance right with work. I either do too much of it, or too little. When I am doing employed work, I often do work in my own time at weekends, and since being unemployed, I've been getting more and more lazy to the point where weekdays and weekends are pretty much the same thing.

So my plan is to do something during weekdays, and maybe write it down if I have to so I have a record of it, and that might help me remember to do it. Then at weekends, I'm planning on relaxing, or doing something fun, anything really, just so long as there is a clear distinction between the days.

It would be good to look forward to weekends again, like I remember doing when I was in school. I'll be spending time with family tomorrow, then on Monday I'll put some extra effort into looking for paid work. Maybe review my C.V. (resume) or find some other recruitment websites to join. I'm going to make it Dewi's job to check up on me, and make sure I'm sticking to my plan!

2010 - Happy New Year!

Just wanted to wish all the readers of this blog (me and Dewi
basically) a happy and prosperous 2010.

Now all I have to do is work out if im a twenty ten guy, or if i'm
sticking with two thousand and ten?