Bella Wants More Recoil

My goodbye with my Jacob was sweet. I saw his eyes get watery. I managed to hold back sobs but tears were streaming the whole time. I don't feel like going into detail about the words we exchanged but it was sweet. He kept apologizing, he didn't really want to go, but he had commitments back home to take care of. He made sure I knew what he thought of me, the nicest person he's ever met. He took on the protecting Marine role for the first time, first time ever for me to get that from someone. Making sure I'd never let anyone take advantage of me because I was truly a nice person. He swept me off my feet with ease, like I didn't weight more than a small child, and said "I'm taking you with me" as he proceeded to stick me in his truck. Only joking though and he set me down and hugged me tightly, though still considering what it'd be like if he really could take me with him. He said one other thing that shocked me... he told me I was perfect. He also mentioned that he could get cheap plane tickets.. giving me slight hope that he would consider coming back out to see me sometime. That made me feel good too =]

Since then, I've been trying to keep myself busy in order to prevent myself from thinking about him leaving and being on his way home. I was with my friend from class and he took me for a drive along the San Diego coast and I could see the stormy ocean the whole time out my window. And with the cliffs here and there it made me want to jump off one like Bella cliff diving in the ocean in La Push to get the adrenaline rush to see her Edward. Only if I did that, my Jacob wouldn't be there to save me. The rain was exciting though. I took a lot of pictures. I had a good time just driving and looking at the stormy ocean and the huge waves crashing and standing in the rain watching it slam into the jetty by the seal beach.

Today after class I followed my same friend to his house and played some video games and hung out... met his dad... saw his hockey room... and his sister's wonderful choice in posters on her ceiling above her bed (all Twilight... Jacob, Bella, and Edward). Then I got a call from my other friend, who I had just talked to about wanting to go shoot some guns, and he needed someone with him at the shooting range, so my friend I was with and I drove down to the firing range and I shot my first real gun ever in my life. I was scared shitless because the Mauser 8mm was soooooo loud. I was literally picked up and carried to the gun and forced to shoot because I was chickening out. But I did shoot a few rounds, it was surprisingly much easier to SHOOT than to WATCH... I took pictures. My friend also had never shot a gun before so we were nervous together. But the friend who wanted us to come down in the first place has fired guns before so he was teaching us. He had to stand behind me and hold me the first time I was up to shoot because I was freaking out. He decided to shoot a .500 (a 50 caliber round) rifle... the CBC S & W .500 Mag-R and the recoil on that was INSANE... he was hurting after like 5 shots, he only bought a packet of 5 bullets.

This is the gun we all shot. The Mauser. It was fun to use the bolt action and the recoil felt good when I fired it. It was heavy so I had to lean against the counter thing when I shot but on the target sheet I beat the boys and got 2 of 3 shots in the middle target, while the boys got theirs waaay high at the top of the sheet. This was my bullet I shot... the BIGGER ones haha. The recoil on it felt good... The boys thought I was afraid of the recoil but I was more afraid of the sound. It was a completely new experience to me but to be honest, the kick felt awesome. I'd never really felt anything like it before and I have a feeling me and my friend might be spending more time at the range than I had ever dreamed I would. If you have never fired a gun, go out and try even a small rifle just once. It feels great.

This is the gun my friend used afterward and it kicked back so hard he could barely handle 5 shots. The CBC S&W Rifle. The second from the right is what this gun shot.. I think.. its a 50 caliber shot like this.

Below is a clip of a guy shooting what I shot


This is what my friend shot that almost tore his shoulder off haha.



It was all fun though. And there was a guy right next to us shooting a .308 Sniper Rifle and wholly shit that was loud. Everyone on the range was jumpy whenever he fired that thing and the entire room lite up with a bright white light as it shot. It was scary.... this is what he was using... except we were in an indoor range and it was RIGHT NEXT TO US.... soooo loud. Too loud even with ear protection like this guy is wearing. I was hiding behind my bigger friend who was sitting on a stool watching (he is 6'4" and like 220lbs... hockey player)



It was scary at first... but my friend was very helpful I guess you could say (the one that knew what he was doing) and I'd do it again but not with that sniper next to me. I'm starting to seek adrenaline stuff... things outrageous to do that I normally wouldn't do in order to keep myself sidetracked. Sort of like Bella in a way but I'm not looking to see anyone, just to do exciting things to not think about the sad things.