It's been a while

It's been too long. I haven't forgotten about this. Dealing with losing many friends this year due to the military and moving around. I still communicate with them but I know I'm losing one more next month and I hope no more. I can't handle anymore. Ever since my "brother" moved not even a month ago I have dreams about him at least twice a week. It makes me miss him. I also have dreams about my other friend who has been gone for, wow, almost 3 months. We have stayed up late at night sometimes (even later for him on the east coast) and talked, he confessed to some things he had been feeling and reasons for why he did what he did and it shocked me, and unfortunately made me miss him more because it turned out he cared a lot more than I thought. Ughh.

So trying to save money, trying to get tan this summer. Yeah......

Finally Heard His Voice Again

I tried on some standard military issued glasses today, prescription ones both clear and tinted (two separate pairs) and my friend who had them kept wearing them and he looked so funny haha. I took some pictures.

Also, my Jacob called me today because I was texting him and he said he was going to a cabin and would lose cell reception up there, so he called and left me a short little voicemail saying hi and he missed me and he would be back on Sunday so he could talk to me then =]

I saved the message. It's been a while since I heard his voice. I miss him so much. Part of me feels like he never left, because we still text like we used to, except there are a lot of "I miss you" messages exchanged and him saying he misses our team (he still refers to it as "our" team even though he doesn't play on it anymore since he moved). So the texting is basically the same, but it's hard not being able to see him and throw my arms around him and climb on his back, or to have him point to his cheek and lean his face towards me, requesting kisses. Or him singing to me in the car. Or what he did which I found really adorable is whenever we would lay together (just cuddling) he would always lift the bottom of our shirts a little so our skin was touching. Like we watched a movie once and I was laying on top of his back while he lied on the couch on his stomach, and he lifted up the back of his shirt and the front of mine a little so my bare skin was against his. It was comforting I think to feel that a little bit, and I miss it now.

Why am I saying all this? I don't know. I don't hate thinking about him, I love thinking about him, he makes me happy. And I don't mind being sad, because it's a different kind of sad than I've felt with boyfriends dumping me. Jacob left with us on a good note. He told me last night he wants to come fly back out already, but he can't afford it yet. Possibly spring break or summer though. Funny thing is, when people used to asked me where I wanted to transfer to after 2 years at this college I'm at now, I said "somewhere cold, with hockey, like Minnesota" and now I have a reason to go there. I wish I could at least see him once a month, or just for my birthday!! I'd be so happy. Heyyy!! Maybe we can plan on seeing Eclipse (3rd book from the Twilight Saga) when it comes out in June =] Make it a little tradition now to see all the Twilight movies together. He is my Jacob after all. Except if I were Bella, I'd probably pick Jacob, not Edward.

My Jacob really was pretty cool. He had adorable quirks, and now he's gone I find I have inherited some of his quirkiness into me, probably because it reminds me of him and makes me happy. Just little expressions he always used, the way he says certain things. I am exhibiting some of his personality traits now, but just the little things. I keep a picture of him in my car on my dashboard (don't worry, it's not obstructing any important gauges, just the gas gauge, but I have a setting on my ODO/TRIP thingy that says how many miles of gas I have left. Actually easier to keep track of than the gas gauge itself!!) so I can have something pleasant to look at when I'm driving and stuck in traffic.

ALRIGHT!! I'LL SHUT UP!! I'm sure Bloggingbrit is angry by now if he has even gotten this far. He doesn't like it when I ramble on like that.. Sorry!!

Oh final note... Jack Johnson was interviewed in the Olympic Opening Ceremonies!! He is the Men's Team U.S.A. Olympic Hockey Team representative!! I love you JMFJ!! Haha.

Not to mention I had an oddly comforting dream about Ryan Miller (hopefully our starting goalie for Team USA's hockey team) and Rob Pattinson (not together in the same dream, but right after one another). I can't remember all the details now, but I know I woke up feeling warm and happy inside. It was comforting.

Memorial Day Weekend

Wow!! From blah to WHOLY SH*T I'M OVERWHELMED in 12 hours. Let me explain...

Everyone has been asking me "what are your plans for the weekend?" being that it's Memorial Day on Monday and a 3 day weekend. I had no plans... totally lame and boring. Then, out of the blue... BAM!!... I don't even have enough hours to do everything that's suddenly become planned!!

Andrew texted me, he is staying at a hotel 5 mins from my house and wanted to know where I lived... I told him I was going to the mall and asked if he wanted to tag along and he did, but he couldn't tonight. So tomorrow we have plans to hang out until his brother's baseball tournament (the reason he is down here). So Saturday is full, and who knows if I will end up going to the game with him.


Sunday I have plans to go do a public skate with a friend and someone else, and that is like right in the middle of the afternoon... so Sunday is shot.

Monday seems to be my only free day, but more people wanna hang out!! It's stressing me out being so popular haha. And the people I say I can't hang out with ask if we could do something next weekend, but I will be at another baseball game with Andrew!! So many people, so little time.

I made a new friend the other day. We get along great... in a weird kinda creepy way. We both had a strange sense of humor and strange personalities... my strange-ness gets set loose with this friend. It's cool I guess. I'm worried though, as this person is now in Iraq fighting the war as Marine 2 in my book =(

I worry for all people in the military right now. I would have a tough time ever being in a relationship with a guy in the military, you never know when they are leaving, never know if they'll come back.

My old next door neighbor died fighting in Iraq... on his birthday. Left behind a wife and two awesome kids, a daughter, now 15 and a son about 12 now. He was in a helicopter that got shot down and crashed. He was a good man, only just got to meet him before I lost him. Kevin has been gone for about 2 or 3 years now.

Yeah military guys have an advantage because of their automatic super cuteness, being in uniform, mostly good looking, and have that really protective nature about them, I don't know if I could handle losing one as my significant other. My second cousin (I will admit, he is hot, but I know he is my cousin, only met him twice though) was in the Navy, almost died. He was one Humvee away from a mine. He was supposed to be in the one that blew up, but for some reason he was switched to the one behind, but he lost one of his best friends.

I'm depressing myself, maybe it's time to sleep